Feeling helpless

It's the last semester of my degree,
and Helpless is what I feel everyday.

Looking at the past,
I am very sure I tried my very best,
but the outcomes are always not what I expected.
Of course I want more,
I always make sure I won't regret by giving my all,
but I always fail myself,
making me think that is that I am not good enough,
or I just should have push myself even more.

I hate my life,
and I hate it even more,
when I don't have the strength to change things.
I hope I am happier,
but people and things just fail me all the times.
I learnt to not expect or hope for things,
because it will always end up differently,
and I am the one always getting hurt.
but because of that,
I hate myself now that have to not expect everything.

I am trying to do something meaningful everyday,
to fill my days up with positive things,
someone told me that trying to think positively,
is already a good attempt to be positive,
and it is already a good start.
I feel its so pathetic,
to have to make myself feel better by thinking this way,
just because we know we can't really do more anymore,
and this is the most we can do.

What to do?
We really have nothing we can do,
that's why we ask this question that we already had the answer.
We lived through life like this,
and we can only live our life like this,
because life is like this.
Its not something we can change by just thinking about it,
but trust me one day I will get out of everything,
leave every disappointed things behind,
but now I am just too small and too helpless.

Until that day,
I will continue feel this helplessness,
and live this life.