Day 1

It felt like Day 1 in Perth, on the day when everyone left.

It was yesterday when we were still playing and joking, with my heart feeling so full, with their existence. I slept late last night, and was struggling to sleep until morning again.
When they came to fetch Cindy, I was wide awake, I was wide awake but I don't dare to step out my room, thinking that I have to say goodbye to them, and this is the end.
I heard them talking, the voice so familiar that I hear almost everyday here in Perth, that makes life here never dull a day. I cried so much until they left, until I fell asleep again.

When I wake up again, the house was so quiet, thinking that I went through this empty stage when I first came, but after meeting Cindy and she filled my life everyday. Every tough moment became funny when you have someone beside you. So used to someone beside me, so used to the gang's noises, it felt much more empty when their voices are still beside my ear.

Since I ran out of groceries, I walked the way to the nearest mart to get some groceries. Although I did do it alone sometimes but all I kept thinking was the jokes we made to the way to the mart, our first grocery shopping with KQ and stole a trolley all the way home, randomly stopped beside a lake and started feeding ducks. I never realized I am so attached to them, until everyone left.

On my way home, with two huge heavy bags of groceries, it suddenly poured like mad. The weather was probably feeling my emotions, being sad when everyone left. It was a 15 minutes walk back home, and I was drenched dripping with water when I got home. If only someone is together with me, we probably will laughed so hard for this misery, but it's only me, which I can't even laughed a bit.

I know I have to man up, immediately changed and did the laundry, started playing songs loudly and try to clean the house and my room, throwing away and tidy up things.
It was when I can't find one of a card that I use in Malaysia, a very random card which I forgot which bag I left in. I felt so helpless and started to cry very loud, that it fills up every corner in the house.
I forgot how I stopped, but I did finish cleaning the house and found the card, watching random videos that didn't even fill my heart. I don't want to do anything I don't want to talk and I just want to sleep.

I didn't know how I made it to this night. I did a little studying and watch a few other videos. I was crying so much today that my head was in a huge pain. Writing this post makes me cried so much again and even a severe headache. It felt like highschool's camp, when you put all your heart knowing your friends, and in the end we have to leave.

Maybe I am emotionally too weak at times, and I hope there'll be no more goodbyes. It's sad that I don't have someone to talk to about this, and I hope if you're going through this, I will be by your side to give you a hug, as I know how bad it feels, to say goodbye and to be alone.
This year was full of goodbyes, I went to so many places and met so many people, that I know we might not be seeing each other for the next time anymore. Even though I know the relationships will be short, but I still will choose to put all my hearts to all kind souls I met. I know this is a part of growing up, but all the tears shed still haven't makes me any stronger
I hope that day won't come, I am not ready to grow up and I believe these tears shed are worth it for the memories we had.

This is the night I felt so empty because of all the kind souls I met in Perth. <3

Things I am working on

This is my Nth attempt on writing a blog post.
I had been trying to write one throughout the semester but all of it ended in the draft section as my head is in a hugeeeeee mess.

This year was so achieving, at least for my standard.
I had been doing so many things, counting from the beginning of the year: Korea, Olympics, Day6, 6 countries in summer, exchange in Perth, and all those small little things.
I am glad I had been travelling a lot while I am here, attending events too, some might not be achieved but I am already feeling grateful. (Although my grades might not be good LOL)

Things are still a mess, I still need to rush prepare for my JLPT test before I fly back, I still have so many little things to settle (and things I want to do) before leaving here, I still need a proper reply for my year-end internship, I am still not sure about my working hours to achieve.. and guess what? I just bought our tickets to BTS Love Yourself concert in Singapore.

I am so packed with my academic right now. I am still very bad at managing my time (and also my life lol) but I guess the only way is to do it and get it done ONE BY ONE.

This is a short note on: There are so many things we want to do in life. The only way is to keep grabbing chances and pushing yourself. Worrying too much won't help and the only way is to DO IT. As long as you belief you can, you put 120% effort in it, there will be no regrets. Better do it than regretting it =) I BELIEVE YOU CAN.

This semester has been very fruitful so far, and I have to admit I am loving my life here a lot.
I think I'm really lucky, to be given the chances, and to be able to meet amazing people.
Only one semester here is really too short, together with academics to take care of, I don't really have a lot of free time spending around people (half for study half for human HAHA) but I have met so many kind people so far. They accept me as myself, they treat me nice without knowing me, they helped me with my studies and my life, and I can't be grateful enough.

I did not expect myself to make so many new friends. Actually I did not expect anything. So thanks so much for everyone who came to my life.
Maybe it's because I have so little time here I have to try to fill it all, I am feeling so busy everyday, but in a very organized way!

I'm glad I tried to make plans for my tuition free week, I tried to go festivals, events, and concerts, I tried to go on road trips, I tried to have random nights out, and I tried to challenge things I have never done. Above all, I'm glad I'm feeling even more focus on my studies. (OK now I know I am the play hard work hard kind, no play no work haha)
Only thing that is bothering me, no matter how hard I tried and I'm still far, is securing myself an internship at the end of this year. I am a little wakuwaku to start working in the field, and if I can get a one I'm satisfied with, I believe this year is already gonna be so damn amazing.

There are down times too. There are times when I feel why is life so unfair. I felt I am really so lucky having a good family, a good education with good friends. I really do hope life will get easier to each and everyone beside me, as you guys really are angels in my life that makes my life better!

I am glad my friends back in Miri still contact me so often I am touched!!
I really am the kind that don't that the step to contact first so thank you, even a call makes me feel that I am important and thank you for missing me uwu.

Side not: SVT is having a concert in KL tmr which I went with Bii and Joe last year, can't make it to this year but I hope they have fun in Malaysia! *Switch off all social media I am a ball of jealous*

Climb higher, but appreciate.

I remember before changing my blog quote to "Appreciate the little things in life", it used to be "Climb higher, not so the world can see you, but so you can see the world".

I was having my PPE lecture and the class was around 30 students, unlike back in Malaysia, students here are more likely to share their opinions during class.
There was this time when the lecturer asked the class who had done their vacation internship and there were around 5 students who raised their hands, followed by sharing what they did in their internship. Their sharing makes me felt more like what I'm currently studying sounds much more practical, and they gave me the feeling that they are studying not to pass, but to apply it in real life.

I don't know whether it is my Asian kiasu genes working, or it's just the reality dawned on me, I felt that I am so left back. I am being content by able to get good grades, able to do things I like and able to grab opportunities, but I felt still so behind.

This post might be just a reminder for myself, to always be content, but at the same time, aim higher and do more, work harder. I might be good, but I am just not good enough.

I started to think back what I have done during my free time. Maybe I did some volunteering jobs and some exchange program, working on something that I called "interested in". I think I learnt it the hard way, that even though I want to work on more education projects, but everything I can do is just so little, and maybe I should climb higher, becoming stronger and then focus on it.

I might be doing my internship at the end of this year. Back in yesterday I was still so unmotivated to work on it, it felt like a burden to look for internships, and I was still thinking: growing up sucks HAHH
But definitely not today, after some short sharing sessions, it makes the work life sounds so interesting, and this kinda motivated me!

Climb higher, but appreciate. 

Landed and slowly starting the semester

Leaving home was kinda rushed.

Mom was running places with me and sent me to the airport even though she's not feeling well.

The scene from my second flight was 100%, a huge yellow moon so low so huge and so clear.

It was a looong flight, with a loooong sleep and I landed late at night, feeling a little too cold, tired, sleepy and a little scary.
Safely made my way to home, had a hot shower, and went to a little chilly bed with my Koda.

First day here was trying to settle down, I tried to went around a bit, got my SIMcard and bought groceries.
Before I remember I have to go around the campus, I was already with two hands full off bags of groceries LOL
So I ended up not going a lot of places, stayed at home, didn't really know what to do HAHH

Second day here was GREATTTTT.
I got to go out with my friend's friends to town, as they were on a vacation here, I got to go touristy places in Perth!

We first dropped by the campus for Open Day, got a little familiar with the environment. Spot ARMY on campus too!

We then went all the way to the city, dropped off at Elizabeth Quay, took some pictures and walked all the way to Crown Perth.

Accidentally met Hossein which I knew him back in Miri, so we went around the town together too!

Had Honey Creme's ice cream and grapefruite juice. The ice cream was soooo good, insta worthy too!
We then went to UWA to go around, which we passed by the Blue Boat House which is in the middle of nowhere.

Being touristy in another university.

Gang of the day!

We then walked all the way to King's Park for the sunset. It was a long journey as what we only had was Google Maps. We did not get to catch the sunset but the view was amazingggg.

That night we rushed back to town for Korean BBQ for dinner as a long queue was expected.

After dinner, we then suddenly decided to have soju, 3bottles for 7 of us HAHA
Brings back my memories back in Korea, I miss every single one I met in Korea!!
Got a little dipsy as not everyone is good at drinking, we then went to Elizabeth Quay again for the night view. It was so cold and was raining a little so we had the whole place.

First day of school was a little lonely, I went to open my bank account and got my SMARTrider card, went around the campus and I was so bad at direction I spent 30mins to find my class LOL The future me will laugh at my old self XD

Dinner was cooking at home with Cindy.
We accidentally cooked too much LOL

Second day was an early morning 8am class. It was so cold in the morning, such nice weather to sleep I dozed a few times during lecture.

Got to meet up with an old friend after class too.
He showed me around, and we got good food and had a great talk.
Thanks for the meal too!

This kinda sums up the few days after being here in Perth.
Still did not get to make a lot of friends yet, and still getting lost on campus.
Still a little free now, and still finding things to do!

It's getting busier soon I guess!
Will try to keep updating!!

A new life chapter, in Perth

It still feels so surreal, that I am going to do this semester in Perth.

I keep wondering do I deserve all this opportunities, as I don’t think I am good enough. I’m afraid I’ll lose something after gaining so so much.

The past semester break was great, amazingly great. I went to places, living the life. I went back home too, enjoy all the small little happiness with people I love around me.

It’s hard too, I realize, to not lose yourself after so many criticism.

Yesterday was Zoe’s call ceremony at Middle Temple, now she’s officially a barrister. My all time study partner, my inspiration and my motivation now graduated and starting to work!! I miss those days we burn the midnight oil to study for PMR and SPM together, with Jpop and Kpop idols being our motivation all time. We do argue a lot but I’m glad in the end only those lovely memories remain.

This morning I went to a temple near our house, we pray for everything to be smooth for us and everyone to always stay healthy. I really don’t wish for more as I felt I have more than enough, I am having a lot of things that I don’t really think I deserve. For the family to be healthy and things to be smooth is all I wish for.

We then went for last minute shopping and rushed home to pack before rushing to the airport.

It’s amazing how this blog sees me from a little girl knowing nothing, until her first trip alone, travelling to places, and now being a little grown up, knew more things and starting to study abroad. It still feels the same though, I am still afraid of a lot of things, but I am also brave enough to face it.

I still enjoy having life changes, facing all challenges always teach me so many things and grow me up and it makes me feel alive.

I hope in the future, I am able to remain these feelings, being hungry for more and not afraid of changes. I hope to not give up to want to live the life I want, and always be ready to learn more and also work harder.

I don’t know who to thanks, but thank you for giving me all the opportunities, thank you for always supporting me, thank you for staying by my side, thank you for being my motivation and thank you for believing in me. This is to each of you who are by my side. Thank you.

I'll try my best to update more! 

6 movies in 15hours

Just ended 15 hours flight, together with two hours transit in Doha, and also 7 hours in Edinburgh airport the night before, a total of 24 hours. 5 more hours to spend in KLIA with 1 hour flight ahead, and I will be home.

Only times like this, you feel like home is LITERALLY that far.
My flight from Edinburgh to Doha was amazing, might be the few latest Qatar flight, equipped with large wide touch screen, USB and plug.

Finished a total of 6 movies, some halfway, and a few songs in my playlist throughout my flight.

I started with The 8-Year Engagement, a romance, in a total two hours I think I cried for more than an hour. It is THAT touching. It was a movie from a real life story, so the story line made me feel more (or maybe just because the lack of sleep the night before).

Second one was Kingsman, suprisingly, I haven't watched this movie that everyone was talking. A simple nice British movie I guess.

The third and forth movie was during my second flight. Sparks(hanabi) and Isle of dogs. Did not finish both. Sparks was simply nice and Isle of dogs way of story telling was quite special (the guy beside me suggested this one), so special I got bored halfway LOL.

Then, About Time. One of the best movie I've watched. Another romance that caught my heart, and a few lessons that I would really like to remind myself, to always live the moment of every single life episodes.

Last one was Moana, simply watched it for breakfast. Love the soundtrack and the animation, and I simply didn't want to risk another bad movie for my nice breakfast.

Couldn't believe 20days passed by so fast. This will be followed by 2 weeks back home, then another new chapter of life studying abroad in Perth.
Recorded down my summer days in Europe on my Youtube channel, OhMyQiqi. I put quite a lot of effort in constantly producing videos throughout my trip, so please support by watching <3 Although those might just a compilation of a few clips of me turning rounds, thanks for watching.

I'm not sure whether I'm ready for the coming changes and challenges, but I do hope everything will be smooth. Also, let's hope the future me will put effort in updating more frequently. By then, ciao!