__________Appreciate the little things in life.

Monday, May 28, 2018

Random trip to Bintulu

It feels more like the annual trip to Bintulu LOL
Three years here in Sarawak, the place I went other than Miri and Brunei is Bintulu, and suprisingly I'm visiting it annually.

This trip was random. Crazily random.
I went with V, which I think we just got close for two weeks(?) and here comes our first trip. Life is amazing huhh.
Thank you for this random trip, a rest much needed. Especially got more motivation to move on with this dull life, with a weekend full of babies and good food.

It was her niece's one year old birthday and her hometown is in Bintulu so she have to travel all the way back there and her mum was quite worried for her to travel alone. I know sometimes it sucks to have a long bus ride alone too. Me being myself enjoy long rides and random trip, so without even thinking I followed her to Bintulu HAHA
I did not even have time to pack the night before, and only on that morning I tried to squeeze everything into my backpack. I am very proud of my packing skills.

That day we had a almost 4 hour bus ride to Bintulu, which we kinda eat and watch videos all the way, and I slept through the ride LOL
I was the one mostly sleepinggg

Her cousin picked us up at the bus terminal and I really have to say in this three years, Bintulu really did developed a lot, they have a nice bus terminal now with air conditioned waiting area.

We then went to her cousin's house and here three babies welcomed me. Paradise.
We rest for a while, showered, changed and went to the dinner venue. She met her family members, and me keep staying by her side,weirdly not feeling awkward. I just simply love the vibes of their family that everyone is so welcoming I felt like home!
Thinking in another way, it's another way to experience the local life here I guess. Finally having the chance after been there three times HAHA
Babies just love me huhhh XD

That night I really did enjoy a lot of good food. Not to forget the cheese tart, I won't tell you I had eight of them (it's small okayyy)
Baby Yona turns ONE!

Birthday set up

cake for the day

the extremely yummy mini cheese tarts

Us with the highlight of the day

That night we slept at her aunt's place, we had a great talk with her aunt and cousin, it just feels right. I brought my computer and tried to study, it did not work, we ended up watching a movie, and felt asleep halfway LOL
Slept tgt in a newlywed room lol

The next morning we had an early breakfast, with amazingly good local food and went back to Miri.
Bintulu local breakkie is loooove

Way back home was full of eating and sleeping too

It was a short and sweet trip. A highlight of this dull semester. Thanks for the babies, and the good food. Till we meet again!!

Thursday, May 17, 2018

害怕失去的人,都在失去。



抽空把几篇旧文爬了一遍,其实是单纯考试快到了,要读书却专心不了
什么时候开始更新得越来越少
因为觉得伤心的事多于开心的事
渐渐把开心的事都一点点忘掉

也许是长大了吧
不能像以前那么天真
说好的不想长大呢
现实真的好残酷
但我依然想努力不被现实磨平棱角

最近遇到想珍惜的人
从第一次见面,到第一次说话,到第一次谈心,好快
我说我好怕,速战速决
因为在受伤很多次后,我真的不敢再希望了
太多的希望,总是换来被遗忘的失望

也许因为快要离开了
人变得有点潇洒
怕什么,又不是没被遗忘过

与其胆小的不敢前进
我选择创造回忆
以后的事,以后再说

因为这样,才发觉因为害怕去尝试,害怕失去
而错过了好多,失去了好多

我很久未试过这么接近一个人了
虽然我知道这条路不是很远
我知道不久我就会下车
可是,这一分钟,我觉得好暖

这是送给一位朋友
在我上完课问了老师两句、走出课室--发现自己又被遗忘--默默在学校去把该完成能完成的事情做一遍后--在学校被遗忘的仓库大哭一场--若无其事走出来时
给我发信息--发现午餐没吃 食堂都没饭时--就算我说没关系也让我要出去吃饭--再陪我去上课的朋友
也许你觉得没什么
也许你觉得我软弱矫情
但对我来说这不止那么简单

如果一个人的存在
让你觉得浪费的时间都是幸福的
那管他对不对
毕竟在一起的日子里
你创造了最美好的回忆
就够了
管他长久不长久
就算没结果
我也想走这一段


Saturday, May 12, 2018

Falling into place


I saw this quote online last year and instead of just screenshotting it, I wrote it down on my notebook, and hoping things will get better. I remember I was so lost at that time and just writing this down, I wet the whole page with tears because it really do hurts a lot that time.

Just right after I posted my last post, like a miracle, I felt things started to fall into place. I got an exchange offer after being rejected, celebrated our achievement for IGV department we worked for last summer, followed by a new government for my country.
Things starting to feel right, I met someone who makes me feel belonged too, when I feel so lost and alone everyday. Someone that stops me from hiding in my house my room everyday.  I hope this lasts long.
Exchange?
Going to Perth for exchange is always my dream? I never tell anyone because I felt its something so far away and something that is almost impossible to achieve. You can tell I never tell my goals here but only sharing when its achieved most of the time. This place is somewhere I show my positive happy things, and for all the BloodSweatTears, it goes to my diary, sometimes my notebook.

Because this time, I felt like its an achievement after so long, I really want to share the whole journey.
It started when I know I won't want to study in Perth as I don't want to spend that much money just to study abroad when I can do the same here and getting the same certificate in the end. I was hoping to get a scholarship for my final years to study there, but then let's be real, the chances are rare, and if I get any chance, I will of couse grab it.
It was last year when I was in Year1Sem2 when I saw about this exchange program, but one of the requirement to apply is being at least a second year student. That time I was a bit down for not meeting the requirements, but at the same time I was thinking "Hey! Let's apply this next semester then!"
Things did not go very well as they did not open for application for the next semester when I was is Year2Sem1 and since the exchange program started just for a semester, I was thinking maybe they cancelled the program as things may not be going well. I was a little down for that, but I cheered myself up thinking maybe this program is open once every year. Trying to be postive LOL

I remembered I listed exchange as my goal when I felt lost last year and trying to pick myself up. I was planning to apply for the program in Daegu, I was planning to go for Olympics, I was planning to go for this exchange (although that time I was not even sure whether this program is still going on).
It felt so achieving, ticking off goals. Done my project in Daegu, attended Winter Olympics and now, I got the exchange opportunity!!! It felt just like a dream.

This was what I wrote when I found out the exchange program was still going on earlier this semester. I know the chances might be very low, and when I went to get the form from the officer, she told me the quota for engineering students is very limited, and it is hard to get the place. As I always think that me being active in clubs and activities will be a bonus for my application, the only thing they asked from me, is my Academic Transcript. EVERYTHING BASED ON MY ACADEMIC. aka lower chance XD Although my results are not really bad, quite good, but I'm not the very top students that gets into the VClist.
That time, I was lost, I still feel I was back behind and I was not feeling positive for this. Picking myself up step by step was not easy, it was hard, but little by little, and submitting the application form is one of the steps.

This was written during the beginning of the semester. "Things I want to work hard on." The first two was a little private, but I did listed exchange as the 4th important things I want to work on, although that time I had totally no idea how to do it.

I did not get the offer straight away. I got rejected once. That time I was quite down for that, but this is life, things will not always be like what we hope for. There are good times, and of course the bad ones. 50/50. Bad ones make us look forward to the good ones, and sometimes make the good ones even more precious. Just like this time =)
I remember it was an afternoon when I went out for lunch with some of my friends. I was squeezing in the car when I got a call from the officer asking me whether I am still interested in the exchange program. I immediately say YES YES and trying my best to sound as cool as I can but seriously in my mind in my heart it was a huge mess. Could not contain my excitement, I immediately confirmed with my dad, and him being as supportive as always, encouraged me to go for this opportunity.

That night, I got home and sat in front of my desk, and let the reality settled in. I could not hold back but shed happy tears as this is really what I longed and hoped for.
Tbh I was really down this semester as there are really a lot of people that makes me feel I am not important. I was always left out and I wonder is it because I am not good enough to be with. I might not be the kind that always study but I know when to have fun and when to be serious. I am questioning myself whether I should change my way, to be accepted. Maybe when we are growing and the academics goes harder, people just want to stay with those who kept studying and scoring, instead of someone who is a little laid back. It was a hard choice for me, as I know how much I was stressed out before this and I don't want this to repeat, but then if I don't change, people just won't accept me and I hate the feeling being alone and left out. 
This is still something I need to sort out, and it is still something I need to find a balance, but this opportunity, it really helped me to gain back a little of my confidence, a little of assurance that my way of living and treating study is not wrong. So thank you, for this approvment.

I know there are still a lot of things to settle, and a lot of things to prepare myself for this journey. I know it won't be easy and I might fail even more, but I think and I hope that I am ready.
There are still so many uncertainties, that I still don't dare to share the news to my friends so if you are reading this, you are the first few to know XD

IGV Celebration
We celebrated as IGV got to be the most contributing for the Miri community development for last year. It was a little unexpected and it was another assurance after working as a Project Director for Speak Up! Did not regret joining AIESEC or working as an IGV member all way long. This dinner makes me felt like home again, and without all those heavy responsibility and deadlines, it was even really a great talk and a great meal.
We went for the sunset and beach while waiting for our food.



My boss.

We really did had a great meal, belanja by AIESEC =))))

That night I came back for the election results, and went to sleep halfway when we almost won. Woke up to a public holiday and my class all canceled after I got ready, I went back to sleep and woke up to another email saying NO HOLIDAY. I then went all the way to the campus for a one hour tutorial class, which ended up the lecturer did not come. LOL.
Got home to my comfy place. Hello new government.
We did our choice. Now let's hope there will be a better future.

If you are feeling lost. I hope this post can cheer you up. Things will eventually get better. Just like how mine did. This is to the past and future me too.
Ending this post with one of my favorite song when I was lost, and my favorite now too as it just makes sense. SAZANKA.

Saturday, May 5, 2018

2018 first semester

HA. HA.
It's halfway, almost an end and here's my first post of the semester, I'm not sorry, and am hoping for more coming ones in this semester. Hopefully.
This semester was all chill, I had more time for myself which is not that right coz I'm too chill ... but in another way, I think it's good to try to give myself some time, and it turns out not bad. It felt like 'working' for myself other than for someone else.

Things I noticed: I can never be a freelancer. My self discipline is so bad, I can never finish the things I want on time, procrastinating is my best skill and realize I'm more to a follow-the-schedule person.
Another thing I noticed: It is okay to be weak, it is okay to show or tell your weakness, but too much is not good. Everyone faces it. So do I, and I believe so do you!

I thought this semester was all gloomy. I THOUGHT.
Until I went through my album for the past few weeks, and it's actually great! Then I realize I'm not living to the sentence I wrote on this blog---Appreciate the little things in life.
Pictures tell stories, and I realize there are so many happy moments in the past few months.
I started this blog, for no reason, and I simple want to record moments. Although I can't find a reason, I still chose to just do it, and you'll find it out.

Okay. Updates.

Curtin Malaysia Biggest Loser
Lose weight program. I lost only 2kg, which I can easily gain back after a good meal =] Considered not very successful, but I made great memories.
Guess what? As we got in by teams, we actually got the last place in one of the weeks, literally biggest loser. No regrets.
No kidding but I seriously work out a lot and eat clean. It was a struggle both mentally and physically. During this six weeks journey I tried to exercise at a daily basis, and it actually felts great, but it is also a hard task to maintain after that six weeks LOL I now do workout but no more daily ._.
I am glad I did not give up halfway, and worked all the way till the last week. Lose weight is a long journey, I felt it more LOL Given this body that can never slim down. Sigh.
From thick to thin HAHA
I started cooking!
I always think one of my weakness is I'm not good at cooking. I still can't understand why do people want to spend so many time cooking a meal which may not turn out good, when there are so many yummy ones out there ready for you.
My ex-housemate Maisei actually made me starting this journey, she told me you'll feel accomplished after cooking a great meal. Another reason is that I was at this losing weight journey so I tried not to eat out as much as I can.
I literally cut down all fast food, no ice drinks, no desserts and only healthy food.
Here's a collage of the healthy diet food I prepared. Which does not taste very good LOL Because I am a bad cook? but I am glad I tried, and really did feel accomplished.

I got on Curtin's website
Can this consider an accomplishment? Because I feel it does, although I look extremely ugly here.
I was on the first page of the website mannn!! Don't wanna lie this felt great XD

Byin's graduation
Jacline and I attended Byin's convocation. We were a team when we were in AIESEC for SpeakUp.
It felt amazing seeing my seniors graduating, starting their working life. She is now working in Singapore and I just feel so great that hard works really do pay off.
Can't wait to graduate soon!!!


Birthday! 21.
I turned 21 on 14th April.
I always say I got no friends because I really don't.
It was just on time, that I got to have my own event on this very special day. It felt like nothing can be more meaningful than this.
Me being myself, wanted to go to the casino when I am 21, although I went into once in Macau XD
I got no birthday cake and no celebration I kinda slept the whole day after my event LOL
My lovely ex-housemate actually got me two cakes just a few minutes before 12am and we chatted for a while, and it taught me to appreciate this little moments more <3 It ended up she had to rush back home to return her car and I finished two cakes on that night LOL Sad life. At least there's cake =]

I started planting flowers
I was planning to bring back some greens to put in my room (the kind that you soak in water and it grows) and mom makes me brings flowers too.
I love flowers. Tell me which girl on Earth doesn't!
I know it isn't hard to grow them, especially this two kinds I brought back, but I did not expect it to bloom almost everyday!
It makes me feel happy seeing new flowers blooming everyday, and because there are a few shades of them it makes me look forward what kind of color combination I will get for the day!
My babies <3
Community Service Video!
This is a little thing I felt great of. We have this MPU unit which need a video presentation and I got to edit the video! I did not spend a lot of time editing it and I feel proud HAHA
It felt more like a vlog tho, and I love filming and editing vlogs. Which I then realize I can't be a good vlogger because I always ended up not filming things, and being an introvert myself my thoughts just belongs to my mind and I never speak them out LOL
Do check it out here if you're interested!! We did a car wash and visited the old folks home!

I look forward to myself for updating more. Please do so too!

Monday, January 29, 2018

EveryDay6 concert in Daegu

I remember I first knew Day6 in my first semester in Curtin, that was when they first debut and "Congratulations" randomly popped up on my Youtube suggestion and I straight fell in love. I remember that was during my finals period and I kept playing the whole album through my study period. I still remember I love "Like That Sun" the most and it is also the first time I tried to learn to read and write Korean <3

Before I came to Korea, I knew I wanted to go for a concert here, and I'm so worried I can't get to go any of them because of my schedule and also the ticketing is so hard here!!
On my 3rd/4th day when I was on the phone with Zoe, she suddenly mentioned her friend is selling her tix in Daegu, and we both suddenly realized everything is just so right and got excited the whole night XD
That time I got a seat quite behind but a few weeks later Zoe's friend on twitter told me that there are more seats cancelled. Thank God I went from 3rd row from behind to 3rd row from the front!! Although it's second floor, but it's a small venue I am already veryyyyy grateful!!! (God knows how hard it is to get a ticket everything actually sold out in 3mins)

Just like how I mentioned in my previous posts, last semester was really tough for me. It was so hard to go through everything and Day6's song is a huge part that keeps me going. Their lyrics always make sense a lot and always so relatable, it never failed to calm me down (Thank you YoungK!).
Also because of Everyday6 I was getting so many new great songs at a monthly basis XD Their songs kinda accompanied me through 2017, I was listening to their songs at a daily basis, coz its the only thing that can calm me down (the first thing I do at home after a long day is to play their songs and study through the night) So yes, they really REALLY mean a lot to me.

*Hello to my fangirl side that I don't usually show XD*


So I reached the venue at around 12pm, as the merch is selling at 3pm people are queuing long before that time, I got my list and my number was alrdy 234 ._. (but glad that I ended up getting what I want hehh)
A little late but I got everything I want!!

After that I met up with a friend on twitter from HongKong and we kinda hang out for a while then started going around for freebies XD
We got so many merch although those are not mine holding it in my hands I felt happiness XDD
Before we got in I met up with a few Singapore friends from twitter too HAHA it felt amazing how fandom brings people together <3
I was freezing queuing for merch I didn't even notice I was bleeding LOL

Ticket is so niceeeeee

first time to a concert alone!!

they gave us this manner guide before the concert how sweet <3

I was so calm the whole time. Instead of keep dancing to the song, I just sat still and enjoy every single song when we were seated. When we stood up of course I was dancing hard, now I am home with a whole sore body HAHA

I remembered they started with 누군가 필요해 (I Need Somebody/Why Am I Alone) and so I got to hear everyone's voices clear individually, got touched and was tearing straight away with a wide smile throughout the whole song.

Wonpil is like the MC for the night (they call him DJ Wonpil awwww) so I get to hear him most of the time. When he started talking, the first word that popped out my mind is MANJA. He was talking so soft all the time and I melted and melted all the time LOL

Jae was the nearest to me and thank God he keeps coming to the front of the stage bless my eyes bless my soul. Although all Day6 members have really good vocal, but Jae has the most emotional(?) ones? It sang into my heart the whole time.

SungJin as always with his crazy amazing vocal, so stable all time it felt like just from the CD and I got to hear his OK~~ everyone laughed at him every time he said Ok~~ haha

YoungK wore a long leather coat, being as handsome as usual being so cool with his rap and base, a really huge thank you to him for writing all the lyrics that helped me through my hard time (WHAT IS IN YOUR MINDDDD)

Dowoon talked the less (as usual) and he is so cuteeeee all the time but the image changed straight away when he is with his drum, the way he talks the way he moves, too cute I want to squeeeze.

I am so glad I get to hear all my favorite song that night. Going to a concert in Korea is so different everyone is so good at the fanchant, I was having goosebumps all the time. Before I went to the concert, I was actually stressing out as MyDays are really good at singing and they can sing all the songs include the Bside ones. Although I was listening to Day6's song at a daily basis whole last year, but MyDay is really another level!!

Before the encore stage, instead of shouting 'encore', the whole hall was singing to the song played background. They sang SingMe when they came out again, it was not one of my favourite but now it is!! Ohhh, Jae was wearing a sleeveless tee under his jacket during encore stage so when he was playing his guitar and his jacket "accidentally" opens... haha.. although he is really just tall and thin... like a tiang HAHA

During the last ment, Jae said that his friends kept saying "it must be hard" for everyday6 project having to come out with new songs every month, but he never felt so.. He could be feeling "Ah.. I'm sleepy" or "Ah... I'm hungry" but never once he felt like "Ah... I'm tired" as getting to perform such great stage for MyDays, hearing MyDay singing along in their concert, it's always worth it.
This really touched me and I hope I get to have this mindset, and keep doing things that never make me feels "Ah I'm tired" <3
I was expecting a little too much for them to speak English, the whole concert the only word I heard in English is Brian's YES and that's all HAHA

3hours really passed by just in a blink. When they said it's the last song before coming out for the encore, I felt like only 30mins passed ;-; Why does it feel so shorttttttt.
It was really a great day spent. I hope this won't be the last concert with Day6. I am so glad to be able to go for this in Daegu, getting the tickets which actually sold out in 3mins, a small hall before they are having one in the Olympic hall this March.

Concert merch and freebies I got that day <3
Looking forward for more good music in the future, more tweets and vlogs from Jae too!
Till we meet again!

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Annyeonghaseyo!!

You may or may not know, I am now in Korea.

Spent the last day here in Korea, counting down in the freezing winter, welcoming 2018 in a far away country. Life is just amazing so far. I keep feeling how lucky I was, to be able to live the life I want, to meet people that give me so much love.

I actually wanted to visit Korea two years ago, if you're following my blog, yes I did mention it 2 years ago, which I ended up in another country. Korea is still a place I really want to visit, and the feelings grow stronger, so thanks for making it come true.

If Japan is a country that makes me fell in love, Korea is a country that has all the things I love.
There are nice cafes, lots of cosmetic shops, cheap and nice clothes, good looking people (haha), kpop playing around which I love, and also nice food!!
I was not having lots of very good impression for this country. As they say don't trust kdramas HAHA Well, Koreans say that too! Just don't trust how love goes I guess? Other than that streets are really that clean and beautiful, houses interior is really that nice, people do dress up that nice too!

If I am the me 2 years ago, I might not know how to enjoy like I can right now. So thanks for waiting this 2 years(?) Now life in Korea is just great <3

So far it's almost three weeks here.
I had a lot of great adventures and there'll be even more in the future!
I was actually quite 'worried' that I might not be able to have the chance to go concerts(?) but when I was here, the thing I am worried is too many concerts, too little money ._.
Made up my mind for Day6 who is always my mental support for the past 2 years, gave up Caratland and OneOku btw, still no regrets <3

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

2017 moments

Really want to update a positive post to cap off this year, so here's some 'Pictures of the month' that record the little sweet moments I had for the year <3

JAN

Started the year with crazy exercise

angkukuih with grandma

a night where we sudden decide to go perlis

dyed to Taehyung's hair color

FEB
random visit to local tourist spots

new room in Miri!

MARCH
met youtuber LingBigYong

don't really have chance for this kind so..

crazy taekwondo practices I had abs those days XD

random selfie with three Aki ._.

APRIL

dyed my hair very dark brown

drew this when I turned 20

late night IGV matchingmania session

becoz I love this picture I don't want it to be forgotten

MAY
late night second round spaghetti session

AG 17

started to jog in the morning

painted my guy friend nails purple with a hair pin

owhhh and this sandwich icecream

more morning jogging with Curtin breathtaking scenary

yes I study with alcohol

a few seconds' scene on Curtin's promotional video

Amazing night with JCLA fellows

typical after presentation which I missss coz after that we parted course ;_;

JUNE
started with drunk Hari Gawai

wall look like this after a semester <3

still jogging

finals week, still jogs

a night where I did not sleep till morn studying

visit to rural longhouse after finals

eye surgery, blood soakssss

one day trip to Brunei before flying off that night

JULY
July started with travelling all around the UK

concert in London!

lucky fangirl got a signball from KNK, yes me

that amazing night <3

trip to Brussels, Belgium

reunited as 5 in Liverpool after so long

ZOE GRADUATED!!

Bucket list ticked in Spain visit La Sagrada Familia

AUG
back to Miri, rushed into project

night we suddenly had to move out

sudden decision to Marudi

Global Village!


SEP

Seventeen DIAMOND EDGE concert!!!

video shooting session

started gym with housemate

alone Bintulu site visit

lots of homecooked dinner sessions with housemate

OCT
started to get mentally physically sick a lottttt

NOV
amazing three guys tgt with me this semester <3

self dyed hair

ACAN with this two! <3

self potrait...?


Went Penang the next day after I got home

Eye. Surgery.

Lotssssss of reading.

DEC
Lots of cafe singing sessions

Meeting up juz like those old days

25annvs

Bao with mama

Got so sick I was shivering in a no aircon car in the afternoon

Mostly spent taking care this two guaigu kiddos

Random photo by the roadside, dyed hair black again

Lots of bowling session!




Moments like this makes me feel proud to be living this year so I hope the same for next!
This year was also pretty shitty(?) so I guess there's a lot of room for improvement for next year ._.

D-3 to Korea I was so busy preparing stuffs.
I'm going to stay there for around 2months for a project, guess there'll be quite a lot of travelling and activities, probably will be vlogging (let's hope it to be successful!) and also hope I get to update more here too!
And also I'll be going to PyeongChang winter Olympicssss!! I know this sounds unreal but it's getting nearer and nearer I hope to meet Yuzu gahhhh >< (please pray for me too!!)

Guess this will be the last post for 2017, so... SEE YOU NEXT YEAR~!!!