Done with Level1.2

Just like what I’ve said, studying all day errrday is not hard for me, not having to go out and sitting whole day is. The whole study week is … torture. I try to cut out all my leisure and social medias to focus more on studies (just to feel less guilty as in I’ve put in my everything) but at the same time studying looks so bored that sleeping looks more interesting.

a night where we studied until sunrise

My seniors told me that the second semester is much more easy going compared to the first semester. Well I DID NOT FEEL SO. When the semester started everything was so overwhelming I’m always busy on something, doing assignments, meeting for projects etc. But when the whole semester ends, yes I agree with that, the units gave less pressure (?) Or simply because I study more this semester LOL

But yea, I remembered feeling so not myself after last semester ends coz I’m not treating my studies well, I’m just trying to study for the sake of exams. This semester was better, I found back the joy for studying and felt less stress and pressure. The only pressure was from having to score very well (?) I came all the way long not feeling the importance of good grades and high marks but just the joy and also the effort you put in, believing in hard work will pay off. So yea, finger crossed everything will come out well!

a morning where my pen ink and correction tape ran out at the same time, that satisfication though XD

Straight after my last paper, I got home and slept whole day. It’s been more than two months that I have a good sleep, I have been limiting my time to sleep and whenever before dozing off, my mind will be arranging things to do when I wake up. At the same time I felt empty and lost coz for the past few months the focus was on studying and now I forgot how do it feels like not have to study LOL

We went out for a nice dinner that night and I rushed back for a meeting getting things back and working on coming projects (OMG everything is so soon now KYAAAA) .The pressure is much more heavier than taking care for my studies. Slowly getting back on leisure and social media things look so unreal LOL. Won’t be back on ig soon as I’m having some private issues. Sometimes people just see a part of the whole story and started judging on it, ignoring the hard work and effort behind. Still trying to get over myself on this, need some time I guess =)

Still alive

This is me making an effort to save my blog, literally.

I have to admit this semester was a mess, every units are attention seekers and starting every week is suffocating for me. There are so many weekly things to be done, refreshed every Monday. Imagine when clock strikes into a new week, there'll be three quizzes and a lecture activity waiting you to be done, not counting in other tutorials, lectures and assignments to complete. Every Friday will be a huge PHEWWW following by realizing having a quiz on 8am Monday so I have to start study and prepare for the coming quizzes next week.

Done with babbling, I can't believe I survived this semester, all assignments done, currently in study week, and I can't feel more relieved. I remembered there's one day that I woke up 6am after sleeping late the last night, got to 8am class all the way until 930pm which I finished my last meeting. Got home for another group assignment meeting at 10pm, which everyone was (kinda) relying on me.
I guess its the perfectionist part of me that want things to be done well, and no one seems to be wanting to put in that effort to make our assignment the best way it can be. After such a long day, I ended up spending 5hours from 11pm-4am just to get the group assignment done, wondering why am I doing this, at this time, not scolding or crying. Nahhh I burst in tears after everything's done feeling so helpless and cried myself to sleep that night. The whole world seems quiet and there's me, and myself.
Okay I know I'm going too far, but somehow this is how stressful and emotionally I got this whole semester. I actually did wrote a blogpost every few weeks, but all those ended up in my drafts, just because my thoughts were so negative and I don't feel like showing that part of myself.

That's most probably the reason I don't update a lot this semester, and maybe even less in the future. And also since ig have this function of being able to post multiple pics, I don't find my problem not knowing where to share my pics.
Anyway, still not wanting this blog to die. I feel it gets to bring the positive side out of me. And most probably I got so stressful so depressed this semester is just simply I update less. Hmmmm....

Gotta study for the coming finals, will update soon right after everything's done, probably a sum up of how amazing this semester is (Yes there's tonnes of amazing stories that I have no time to change into words!!)
Will be spending my whole month sem break in U.K. travelling by myself and meeting up my family including grandma and aunt the last few weeks over there to Europe. Planning on scheduling a surgery before leaving Miri but currently still looking for reliable clinic (one of the reason I hate being away from home), sometimes things just don't go the way we want, another reason I'm stressing out LOL

I know I sound stressful and depressed throughout this post but seriously I'm not. Goodluck for finals =)

Two weeks gone ._.

Time flies, two weeks later, back at the same position, waiting for my next transit flight back ti Miri, updating life.
When I packed my things back home, I was so not prepared, not knowing what to bring back but just 3/4 clothes, for TWO WEEKS. Wrong decision LOL.

Since it's a break, so it's a break, enjoying life, and everything ended up so wrong XD
But well, let's see this as spending quality time with mama and Bii,
we finished a Korean drama, 16 episodes in one day in the weekends, damn productive.

Other than that was eating good food and fixing my cravings,
back there in Miri I have no car no food buddy.
Right here, Bii and my question of the day is What to eat.

My Korean fried chicken <3

Night chilling at cafe

More datessss

Back at home, I was either in front of the computer, or being a couch potato.
My day started when Bii is back home, I felt like a pet dog waiting for my master to come back everyday.

Owhhh and guess what, we have a whole set of karaoke system in da houseeeee.
It reached just the day before my birthday XD
Well, new things always look interesting HAHA

And also, in the end, the love hate hallway back in Alor Star's airport.
Papa and grandma sent me to the airport today, coz mum and Bii is having school.
...and guess what? I left on Sunday, but mum and Bii is having a two days holiday in Monday and Tuesday... *sobssss*

Our last night

I am now in KLIA, waiting for my next flight back to Alor Star.
Time flies, the last time I was still here, thinking about how I'll be away for a long time, but can't believe a month++ passed by so fast and I'm now on my way back home.

Last night I spent the whole night out with my JCLA team, a night I can truly relax after the hectic and stressful week, before I start my break back to hometown.
It's consider the last night our team be together as a full, as Pari is going back to India this mid April, and probably will be away for quite a long time. It was a very happy night spent with them, like always, and I tried so hard not to remind myself it's the last night together.

We first went to Workshop Grill for a very nice dinner after out meeting and a debrief for the meeting with the welfare ministry yesterday. It's a place that serve very nice pork burger with a very nice atmosphere.

We planned to watch Beauty and the Beast after that, but the hall is quite full and the seats are those with bad views, so we chose to watch another movie, Ghost in the shell.

Augustinne was unawared that we changed movie, and after watching all the commercials and when the movie started, he said "I think we're in the wrong cinema, this is not Beauty and the Beast(?)"
Sorry that we changed your lovely romantic movie to a fantasy LOL
We still enjoy the movie anyway =)

We then went to another cinema after that for LIFE, another fantasy movie XD

But before it's time for the movie, we went to a cafe nearby and had some drinks to chill for a while.

We had some great talks and I can't hide my sorrow and had all kinds of feelings deep in my heart.

probably our last selfie for a while

I have a very strong bond with Pari as we were each other's secret angel when we just formed our team, he is always that chill guy that sit behind, let us talk and play, while quietly observe.

Even though the team is probably one and a half month old, but this is the team that can really bring the deep me out. It felt a lot easier talking with them, and it's always so easy to start a deep talk and I find it so easy to speak out the real thoughts running in my mind (which I usually find it hard to share, or sometimes find it hard to turn to words) With them, everything is so easy so open, I didn't know how we came to this stage, but I know every moment with them are truly precious.

No matter what happens in the future, I wish that we all have a smooth one and reaching our goals and dreams in all ways, because I can tell, these people are the angels in my life <3

Current (boring) life

Hi I'm back!
It's more than two weeks since I last updated, just because life was really THAT hectic, I can't even squeeze time for a brief update!
Last two weeks was really crazy, loads of assignments and tests, daily training that drains all my energy, so busy and packed to a point that I don't have the time to feel tired. Looking back it was really productive, I can't allow a single minute lost doing nothing and every minute was well spent! but it was really draining me out not having enough sleep for more than two weeks, I felt like closing my eyes and just collapse while walking, just to get some sleep and rest. Guess I kinda evolved through the past two weeks, literally tried my very best to look like a normal person although I was literally physically and mentally drained.

Not much pictures to update here coz I was working on my academic more for the past few weeks, except Taekwondo demo and also AIESEC LLDS!
Taekwondo demo was lit!! I love how we trained something other than strength and stamina, more to fancy stuffs like dancing and breaking sessions, which in another way not that fun. I literally got bruises after every training sessions, and hurt my elbow during the breaking session. Still I'm considered lucky as those breaking with me, one's foot was bleeding and another had 2level fractured on his fingers. If you think Taekwondo is a fun sport punching air, you're wrong, it's more than that, and the blood, sweat and tears behind that was beyond words.
Real proud of us!!!

my Taekwondo family <3

LLDS didn't failed me too! I had so much thoughts and spent some time reflecting, looking deep into myself.
I realised I'm the type that really cares about one's thought to me, in another way I'm easily hurt verbally, and you might not notice it. I felt the click with that seminar, and realised that I'm not the only one facing this problems, and it's okay to feel so. It's not being fragile and I'm trying to embrace this part of me.
Right before that session I actually got effected a lot by one of my senior's word, while we were having a safety space session which you tell your true thoughts about a person, at the same time listening without judging. I was given a view of the other person on me, and I felt so offended I can't even focus on the session later. I felt so offended being judged by someone, and after a few sessions with the thought bothering me, I got my answer which I knew but eventually forgotten while time past, which is "to not afraid of being judge, you must first judging others", and also "don't let someone's judgement to affect you too much, but at the same time try to reflect on it".

let's work to reach our goals together!!

Other than that, I was working on JCLA's project too!
We were at a point that we were quite fed up(?) as our proposal keeps being rejected and we have limits to come out with a one that can satisfy all criteria. This keeps my brain so full I'm brainstorming every time I have nothing on my hands, say walking or eating.
To find out a legit reason to run a project, to see the impacts and sustainable in one project, I was doing so many researches and read so many articles that I am so much more aware of the world around us.
I used to keep saying that I want to be more aware of the world around me but it kinda failed as in I don't feel the urge to squeeze time to read things, but suddenly to think a project out of the box, I was forced to do so many research, meet so many people, listen to so many thoughts. Suddenly I'm much more aware to the society and community, and felt like I really have to do something that helps.
Looking for the day that we fix and truly work on an impactful one!

For AIESEC, although I kept saying I won' step up to be leading, but in the end I still stepped up as a project director. I felt like I will look down to the me which didn't put effort in trying her best, while I have the chance in front of me, but I still choose not to grow.
Hoping my project do goes well, and I'll share more about it if there's something fun going on!

Academically, I have an intereste research going on! It's my EFDP project and our team have to come out with a coordinated transport system for a country named Vanuatu.
I was reading to all kinds of potential vehicles to be introduced, and through that I see so many advanced technology and was really impressed by how far it went and it will go.
Since I'm also studying renewable energy this semester, I see how important and how much potential renewable energy have, and how can it be implemented to our daily lives, to a point we no longer need fossil fuels, although it' a long way to go, but I look forward to the days clean and green energy slowly takes over the current ones.
The ongoing research and current technology is beyond my expectation, and I was really impressed how far the technology grew. I felt humanity in a way that there's people really do care about the environment and the Earth, and kinda reminds me why I chose my major.
Still stressing a lot on this as I'm still at the research stage and I will need to come out with a design proposal as soon as possible, here comes the not fun part, the marks LOL

Sorry for so many sharing of my study and projects, and yes I'm boring like this HAHA
I felt like sharing more to my thoughts, and I'll try my best to. I always know sharing thoughts are important, but at the same time it's hard. Let's see if I can do this!

I met a Youtuber!!!

 I successfully survived another week, with the starting of clubs and activities, going up to another level handling both, and I can say I am starting to procrastinate a lot more academically already *oops*

On Monday we had a meeting with the Miri City Council regarding the project we will be running about LA21, a formal one which we get to know more about the current running projects so that we can brainstorm more and won't clash with the existing ones. (I won't tell you I skipped three consecutive lectures because of this ._. )

At Friday night we had a Welcome Home Program under AIESEC, which can be understood as a closing ceremony for the whole exchange program. I missed it last year as I was still in foundation and I'm not back to the campus yet, through this I actually did feel that my exchange program is much more completed. I had a great time listening to stories and experience shared <3

A family I really appreciate

 Owhhh and also did I mentioned I cut my bangs (?)
You probably can't tell since I don't dare to post it on social media 6.6
Funny thing was I posted a story on ig saying "Was thinking of cutting my bangs. Yay? Nay?"
That night I keep watching videos of cutting bangs on youtube and the next morning I took a deep breathe and did it, thinking it was a YOLO thing. lol.
I got a reply in 5mins after cutting my bangs, a reply from mum, saying "NAY." Too late mama, too late.
My mum always not like us sisters in bangs, but both Zoe and I did cut our bangs by ourselves, thinking since we are so far from home, mum can't say anything. #werebellionkids *tsktsk*

here's a post haircut selfie. YayNay?

That weekend we went to town, had great food and... spend money XD

Bought a lot of things adding that atmosphere in the room, including a long mirror which I always wanted. Goshhhh I was suffering not knowing how do I look in my clothes for countless semesters and now finally a mirror! (Cheers to more daily ootd shots)

thanks for jio-ing or I forever won't get myself a mirror

Luckily we did went out that day, coz guess who I met!!!

Malaysian Chinese will probably know him, and it's my first time meeting Youtuber in real life!

I was shopping in a small shop, and when I look up there's him! Walked away so I can remember to breathe, and gathered all my guts and walked up to him XD

After I asked and there was a few more people finally dare to walk up to him HAHA (thank me guys, YOU'RE WELCOME)

sry ugly face I was too exceited

Other than that was campus and home, meetings and training.

A morning which I met two cute cats on my way to class ...

... and a night with a cup of rose tea from my housemate.

Life goes on with two reports waiting me to finish, and a few chapters to catch up. 

...owhh and I just bought my flight tix back home for a two weeks break (which my birthday will be at home! YAY!)

Y1S2 started?!

After touching down midnight, reaching the empty house with dusts and boxes to unpack, I cleaned the floor and changed the bed sheets, had a good night sleep and left all the work days after.

First day in Miri I went to a five star hotel, with a great beach view and nice food for a seminar. The sunset was too pretty we spent some time taking pictures with the sun setting into the sea ... but it didn't last long LOL There was literally five guys staring at me when this picture was taken, waiting for me to go dinner. (Why can they never understand how important an instagrammable pic is?!)

We had a three course meal dinner with desserts like this, which I can't finish it all.. except the dessert XD

We then spent the next two days at BorneoTropicalRainforestResort which there's a lot of extreme activities for you to experience. It's more to like a 度假村 and our main transport was a train(?) pulled by a huge tractor. 

 It's a place with centipedes as huge and as long as Dom's foot.

An abseiling tower four floors tall that I can't fit it in a picture.

We spent two days doing activities such as building our own raft and rafted in the river (which half way collapsed and three of us needa swim back), doing the big swing (which LiYee slammed on the surface of the water and got a palm-huge bruise), challenging the postman walk (which I grabbed too tight and got blisters on my fingers) and also EATING GOOD FOOD (food there is REALLYYYY nice)

Got back with a tired body and bruises all around, we then spent the left two days having more seminars, all very useful and inspiring especially for the coming semester. Ended the whole week with a brief interview and a movie.

Didn't took much pictures the whole week as I was too indulged in everything, and also we had a videographer with us all time (video won't be out so soon, probably a few months later)

Spent the weekend tidying up the house after a very packed week, dealing with stuffs and house bullshits, including a few bulbs in the living room that won't work, a back door that sinks a little and can't be open since it was raining heavily, a leaking pipe that dances when spraying out high pressure water (and we have no choice but to close the pipe outside the house every single time), two stoves that we had no idea how to lit, a few friends running around freaking me out by just trying to say Hi to me(named cockroach and rat), a mirror in the bathroom that felt down and shattered into pieces as the holding part was not strong ... and the list goes on. The list probably ended with -Should I stick my posters in the room? and -In what way should I stick all the posters in my room?

Rewarded myself with a nice brunch time, and after all it felt good seeing my lovely room (which was also quite empty rn as I have no idea what to add in my room LOL) and spending quality morning and night times enjoying my ME time.

The semester starts quite lightly... WHO AM I JOKING.

 Just finished my math online quiz until midnight 2am last night after spending hours revising back what I learnt the whole last semester. A lot of brain cells were killed doing that, RIP. 

The first week haven't end and I already have two assignments due, with numbers of test that I lost count (not to mention the spot test that will suddenly pop out, out of nowhere)

... but well, I still can spend time writing here, so life is still okay HAHA

Despite all the pressure I tried my very best to ignore, not forgetting to spend some time to chill, telling myself it's Week1, and always remember to de-stress.

First try drip brewed coffee, with quality coffee powder which then filled the whole room with relaxing coffee aroma.

Second movie of the semester, LOGAN. 

Sitting on my left and right are huge fans which the one on my left hand side cursed out loud so much during the movie, I was first shocked, and the next second felt like digging a hole and bury myself. LOL.

Aaaaaaaand, we received our YNWA album yesterday!!!

We were not expecting it to reach so soon but goshhh it's already here! The quality of the album is no joke, with poster and a picture card which I got Jin's. 

This album means a lot to me (?) as SpringDay really got to my heart. I had a deep interpretation for SpringDay's MV and cried buckets becoz of it (do lemme know if u r curious abt it, I can make you cry XD)

Huge thanks to this one below!

Effortlessly started my semester with amazing memories!!! Looking forward for more <3