It felt like Day 1 in Perth, on the day when everyone left.
It was yesterday when we were still playing and joking, with my heart feeling so full, with their existence. I slept late last night, and was struggling to sleep until morning again.
When they came to fetch Cindy, I was wide awake, I was wide awake but I don't dare to step out my room, thinking that I have to say goodbye to them, and this is the end.
I heard them talking, the voice so familiar that I hear almost everyday here in Perth, that makes life here never dull a day. I cried so much until they left, until I fell asleep again.
When I wake up again, the house was so quiet, thinking that I went through this empty stage when I first came, but after meeting Cindy and she filled my life everyday. Every tough moment became funny when you have someone beside you. So used to someone beside me, so used to the gang's noises, it felt much more empty when their voices are still beside my ear.
Since I ran out of groceries, I walked the way to the nearest mart to get some groceries. Although I did do it alone sometimes but all I kept thinking was the jokes we made to the way to the mart, our first grocery shopping with KQ and stole a trolley all the way home, randomly stopped beside a lake and started feeding ducks. I never realized I am so attached to them, until everyone left.
On my way home, with two huge heavy bags of groceries, it suddenly poured like mad. The weather was probably feeling my emotions, being sad when everyone left. It was a 15 minutes walk back home, and I was drenched dripping with water when I got home. If only someone is together with me, we probably will laughed so hard for this misery, but it's only me, which I can't even laughed a bit.
I know I have to man up, immediately changed and did the laundry, started playing songs loudly and try to clean the house and my room, throwing away and tidy up things.
It was when I can't find one of a card that I use in Malaysia, a very random card which I forgot which bag I left in. I felt so helpless and started to cry very loud, that it fills up every corner in the house.
I forgot how I stopped, but I did finish cleaning the house and found the card, watching random videos that didn't even fill my heart. I don't want to do anything I don't want to talk and I just want to sleep.
I didn't know how I made it to this night. I did a little studying and watch a few other videos. I was crying so much today that my head was in a huge pain. Writing this post makes me cried so much again and even a severe headache. It felt like highschool's camp, when you put all your heart knowing your friends, and in the end we have to leave.
Maybe I am emotionally too weak at times, and I hope there'll be no more goodbyes. It's sad that I don't have someone to talk to about this, and I hope if you're going through this, I will be by your side to give you a hug, as I know how bad it feels, to say goodbye and to be alone.
This year was full of goodbyes, I went to so many places and met so many people, that I know we might not be seeing each other for the next time anymore. Even though I know the relationships will be short, but I still will choose to put all my hearts to all kind souls I met. I know this is a part of growing up, but all the tears shed still haven't makes me any stronger
I hope that day won't come, I am not ready to grow up and I believe these tears shed are worth it for the memories we had.
This is the night I felt so empty because of all the kind souls I met in Perth. <3
It was yesterday when we were still playing and joking, with my heart feeling so full, with their existence. I slept late last night, and was struggling to sleep until morning again.
When they came to fetch Cindy, I was wide awake, I was wide awake but I don't dare to step out my room, thinking that I have to say goodbye to them, and this is the end.
I heard them talking, the voice so familiar that I hear almost everyday here in Perth, that makes life here never dull a day. I cried so much until they left, until I fell asleep again.
When I wake up again, the house was so quiet, thinking that I went through this empty stage when I first came, but after meeting Cindy and she filled my life everyday. Every tough moment became funny when you have someone beside you. So used to someone beside me, so used to the gang's noises, it felt much more empty when their voices are still beside my ear.
Since I ran out of groceries, I walked the way to the nearest mart to get some groceries. Although I did do it alone sometimes but all I kept thinking was the jokes we made to the way to the mart, our first grocery shopping with KQ and stole a trolley all the way home, randomly stopped beside a lake and started feeding ducks. I never realized I am so attached to them, until everyone left.
On my way home, with two huge heavy bags of groceries, it suddenly poured like mad. The weather was probably feeling my emotions, being sad when everyone left. It was a 15 minutes walk back home, and I was drenched dripping with water when I got home. If only someone is together with me, we probably will laughed so hard for this misery, but it's only me, which I can't even laughed a bit.
I know I have to man up, immediately changed and did the laundry, started playing songs loudly and try to clean the house and my room, throwing away and tidy up things.
It was when I can't find one of a card that I use in Malaysia, a very random card which I forgot which bag I left in. I felt so helpless and started to cry very loud, that it fills up every corner in the house.
I forgot how I stopped, but I did finish cleaning the house and found the card, watching random videos that didn't even fill my heart. I don't want to do anything I don't want to talk and I just want to sleep.
I didn't know how I made it to this night. I did a little studying and watch a few other videos. I was crying so much today that my head was in a huge pain. Writing this post makes me cried so much again and even a severe headache. It felt like highschool's camp, when you put all your heart knowing your friends, and in the end we have to leave.
Maybe I am emotionally too weak at times, and I hope there'll be no more goodbyes. It's sad that I don't have someone to talk to about this, and I hope if you're going through this, I will be by your side to give you a hug, as I know how bad it feels, to say goodbye and to be alone.
This year was full of goodbyes, I went to so many places and met so many people, that I know we might not be seeing each other for the next time anymore. Even though I know the relationships will be short, but I still will choose to put all my hearts to all kind souls I met. I know this is a part of growing up, but all the tears shed still haven't makes me any stronger
I hope that day won't come, I am not ready to grow up and I believe these tears shed are worth it for the memories we had.
This is the night I felt so empty because of all the kind souls I met in Perth. <3
