Alcohols and hugs

Three days at home,
with two nights crying,
and two nights drinking,
life is THAT overwhelming.

A lot of things is changing,
the people around me,
my own life,
and the life of the people around me.

Its another huge change,
not in my life,
but the middle of our lives.

I still need to learn how to handle changes,
I wish I could teach others how to handle changes too,
including teaching my own self.

I hope the old me can come out and give me motivation,
the old me can teach me how to find direction,
and the old me to share how positive I was.

My emotions are like a roller coaster ride,
which I can't even control,
and I am already tired of this scary ride,
I hope this ride will stop soon,
give me time to settle down my dizzy mind,
take a breathe before I am ready for more.

One thing in my mind that keeps me going on,
her voice that tell me "no point of worrying of this things",
no one can tell me this except her,
our time spent not together is longer,
that might be the reason how good is she in my imagination,
but this imagination keeps me going on,
and I believe that is the only thing that matters.

For now,
this two mental break down,
thanks for dad's alcohol and hugs,
can't wait to grow up,
can't wait to settle down,
but I still don't get enough of this YOLO yet,
me having different thoughts.
Ughh.
Sleep. Nite.